Warped talking gasps Fireball. Oh, thank god you’re here. How did you find me whooshing Oh yeah. You never came home last night. I can’t find my phone. What happened last night upbeat music I woke up in our bathtub. Where’d you stay Somewhere on the east side. I don’t know, her name was. We met her at Sideways Lounge. You met her. She made jokes. warped faint laughing We didn’t go to Sideways Lounge last night. I’m 100 sure we did not go to. A receipt from Sideways Lounge.
I hate this place. I love this bar! Why’d we go here It was after we left the party. whooshing Why’d we leave the party Okay, so I remember we got, like, super high. Uh huh. And you know that when I get high I just wanna, like, stare at myself in the mirror. Yeah, I started playing beer pong with Cheddar because he needed a partner and he’s the coolest upbeat music person I know. upbeat music upbeat music And then I’m standing there.
And this girl Mackenzie walks in, and she’s really sad ’cause of, like, shit with her boyfriend. mentally, like, mean to me. Man We played, like, three games in a row. We just kept winning, and winning, and winning, and then we built a castle out of beer. And this guy walked in. It was her boyfriend. And I think I tried to kick his ass. Ah, then I had to go to the bathroom but the line was too long so I went to a spare bathroom.
When Youre Drunk And You Lose Your Phone
Woman And I was just trying to stick up for her. Feminism. thud and whooshing But then things escalated and I got escorted out. Yeah, yeah, you know how I had that duckzedo on. Yeah. I took the entire thing off to go pee and then I realized I was in the neighbor’s bathroom. Voiceover Oh, that’s why we found you naked in the backyard. Yeah. That makes a lot more sense. Thanks for letting me use your sheet. Yeah. Wait, Mackenzie’s boyfriend.
Is that the little redheaded guy Yeah, I smashed his face into a mirror. Oh. He’s gonna be picking out glass from his eyebrow for, like, the next year. No, that’s, like, the sweetest guy on the planet and his girlfriend’s always trying to pick fights with him. Ah man. I fought for the wrong side again. You’re always getting in fights when you’re drunk. That’s not true. I’m just making statements. Well, how did we get these clothes Walgreens Walgreens. chorus singing.
I’ll write this all down, okay, so. I definitely had my phone at Walgreens. girl mumbles Oh my god, look at your arm. Holy shit. Did I get hit by a car thudding Cool. Oh, that’s when we went to ohbranuhhans and we had to put ice on it. Oh, why is my belly button sticky Did we take body shots Mine’s not sticky. Ah, did I take body shots off of you Sick. No, that’s when we got into that dance battle. upbeat music Man Did we win upbeat music.
Woman Yeah, of course we won, no thanks to you, though. You tried to do the worm but you were just really drunk so you just passed out on the floor. That must of been right around the time we got into that political debate with that guy in the suit. Man It wasn’t a guy in the suit, that was a woman in a pantsuit. By political debate you mean I spoke to her while you screamed abortions then woman laughs yeah, I guess so. Oops. No, but you had your phone there.
Yeah, because you kept trying to convince me that that was Ruth Bader Ginsburg, It. And then you looked her up on your phone. It was Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It was not RBG. It looks a lot like Ruth Bader. Wait, let’s check our pockets for clues. wrappers crumbling Candy wrappers. Both Lift! You had to have left it in the Lift. You can get it back. They’ll drive it back. Yeah. I don’t even remember who we were taking it with last night.
You don’t remember Micca Who the fuck is Micca Chris, hey. How’re you doing Chris What, you had like an intense spiritual connection with our Lift driver. I’ve never seen two people I just believe that thinking Chris connect so quick, so fast. Micca mumbling Because Chris I say that all the time, remember Ew, his name was Micca Micca, I’m just saying, like, your light just, like, shines Nature is where it’s all about. Woman brighter than, like, a dentist’s office.
Do you know Just trees. Woman what I’m saying Chris Yeah, you have plans with him to make pottery in his new kiln tonight. Can I get some water It’s the beginning. woman mumbling It’s the end. woman mumbling It’s just. woman mumbling mumbling Micca Yeah. That’s impossible because I have plans with Sarah tonight. That really hot blond that’s in the spin class I pretend to be in. Yeah, you probably don’t. Chris, what did I do Oh, drunk dials. Hey, pretty girl. I was just thinking.
I miss you and it’s just, like, crazy how much I wanna smell your hair right now. Oh, drunk text. I’mma message the baby. You know what, on a scale from one to furious 7, how bad are they 12 texts that were unresponded. Four of the baby bottle emoji. God fucking damn it, Sarah. Okay, so I remember us acting like we were British for, like, an hour and a half. BBC says that woman mumbling aluminum foil is. woman mumbling Oooo, and when we tried to convince those girls.
From Minnesota that we’re the producers of Box Trolls. On this way This way. Both is a secret passageway. Both Look behind the wall. Right this way to the secret passageway. Oh right, that’s right, it’s Both secret passageway. It trolls like It was my uncle Christopher, Protenas. Protenas. Can I call you Protenas I feel like. Well. Both Micca! Hery buddy. Hey. Yeah. Oooo. Hey, do you know where Chris’s phone is Yeah, I do.
Oh, you guys are so great. Peace. No, once we truly let go, Let go. Yeah. You just gotta Get off the grid. Oh, no, did I What if, like, we’re all trees and, like, somehow we cry Yeah. I’m no longer a slave! Both Be like the trees, be like the trees. Be like the trees. I’m gonna destroy it. I need to go off the grid. Like the trees! suspenseful music I’m not drinking for a long time.